Recently, I have been thinking a lot about health and its benefits, and what the role of health actually plays in a conscious life. How a healthy body leads to a healthy mind leads to a healthy spirit.
“Your body is a temple,” stuff. Heavy, biblical stuff. The stuff we like to gloss over because looking too hard at what we do to ourselves makes us feel guilty, and guilt leads to shame, and shame leads to repression, which in turn leads to doing the bad stuff to yourself to hide the guilt. Life is beautifully and regrettably circular until you choose to level up.
What kicked off this train of thought was a conversation on X about alcohol.
An account, Not Elon Musk, which may or may not be Elon Musk (probably not but AI affiliated, is my guess), asked whether alcohol in the US should be legal at age 18. I replied:
This lead to a deeper discussion on the health benefits of alcohol, which made me think consider the other things you will find down below in my typical stream-of-consciousness learning style. Please do click on the “Show more” link, and if you like my work, please throw me a follow: https://x.com/CarlaGericke. TIA!
The X post: “I think my issue here is with your choice of the word “benefit.” Coffee does actually have some health benefits, which alcohol, even in moderation, does not. Or, let’s take heroin: It relaxes you too, but I assume, you wouldn’t advocate for its regular use? So I ask again, if something isn’t benefitting YOUR HEALTH, why are you consuming it? You claim “because it relaxes me,” but this is a mind trick (placebo affect at best; cognitive dissonance/lie at worst <— the truth, sorry/not sorry). From a healthy, alcohol-free mind, this is what your position looks like to me: An addictive poison you choose to consume “relaxes you,” and you tell yourself “that’s good for me,” while ignoring the fact that on a cellular level “it is honestly, absolutely bad for me,” but I am going to tell myself that’s not the case because “it relaxes me”… And while YOU TELL YOURSELF it “relaxes me,” you also KNOW both from a scientific perspective and from something deep inside that you choose to ignore, that alcohol is an addictive poison that corporations spend billions of dollars a year to foist on you and the unsuspecting public. Maybe you never wonder about the billions spent on advertising and product placement to create the very brain-loop that lets you tout the “benefits of ‘relaxation'” from a neurotoxin that causes anxiety and disturbs sleep. It sounds kind of bonkers: rewarding yourself with the very thing that is making you sick. Now I understand many people drink their poison “moderately,” thereby remaining functioning Zombies their whole lives. Alcohol dulls the spirit, while ironically being called spirits. I appreciate my position is probably much too Pollyanna for general public consumption, but that doesn’t mean I am wrong.”
Me to ChatGPT: If something doesn’t benefit your health, what benefits can it have?
If something doesn’t directly benefit your health, it can still provide value in a variety of other ways, such as:
Mental and Emotional Well-being
- Joy and Pleasure: Activities like listening to music, watching a movie, or indulging in a favorite hobby might not have direct health benefits but bring happiness and reduce stress.
- Social Connection: Spending time with friends and family strengthens relationships, fostering a sense of belonging and emotional security.
Personal Growth and Development
- Learning: Gaining new skills, knowledge, or experiences can expand your intellectual horizons and increase self-confidence.
- Creativity: Engaging in creative pursuits like painting, writing, or playing music nurtures self-expression and innovation.
Productivity and Success
- Career Advancement: Activities that enhance professional skills or build networks can contribute to financial stability and personal achievement.
- Problem-Solving: Challenges unrelated to health can teach perseverance, critical thinking, and adaptability.
Cultural and Spiritual Enrichment
- Cultural Appreciation: Engaging in arts, literature, or history enriches understanding and respect for diverse perspectives.
- Spiritual Fulfillment: Practices like meditation, prayer, or community service provide a sense of purpose and connection.
Economic or Material Gains
- Wealth Creation: Investments, entrepreneurial ventures, or skilled trades may have little to do with health but provide financial stability and opportunities for lifestyle improvements.
- Resource Accumulation: Acquiring items or assets can enhance your quality of life or security.
Entertainment and Escapism
- Relaxation: Recreational activities like gaming or watching sports
Carla: I find the above absolutely fascinating! Read it over… it’s another mind trick! Many of those things DO ENHANCE HEALTH AS STATES OF FLOW/CONSCIOUSNESS/CREATION. But they are external to the body in terms of health, they are mind-enhancing, neuron-firing, synapse-building things (therefore something entirely different). But the ones that do not have to do with CREATION, are spirit enslavement tools (soul catchers!). For example, look at “Entertainment and Escapism.” It is passive: watching someone else do sport instead of doing it yourself (which WOULD enhance HEALTH) or gaming, which is literally ensnaring your attention in another dimension. Is this good or bad? You need to decide. I don’t game for a reason.
Carrying on…
Write a paragraph in the style of Tree discussing “your body is a temple” as a way of life, drawing on historic and modern references
ChatGPT said:
ChatGPT
They say, “Your body is a temple,” and while I’ve always appreciated the poetry of the phrase, I must admit, I envision my own temple as a bit more eclectic than serene. Maybe a lively bazaar in Angkor Wat—part sacred, part chaotic marketplace, with the occasional tuk-tuk careening through, fueled by coffee and rebellion. The idea of treating the body with reverence is ancient, of course. The Greeks sculpted gods into human form to remind themselves of their divine potential, while yoga practitioners in ancient India mapped the body as a vessel for spiritual enlightenment. Fast-forward to the present, and we’ve replaced the incense with kombucha and the altars with Peloton bikes, but the core principle remains: stewardship of the flesh as a moral obligation. Yet, in an age of industrial food, microplastics, and government-approved toxic nonsense, this reverence has evolved into an act of defiance. To cherish and care for your body isn’t just self-respect—it’s rebellion against a system that profits from your neglect. My temple might not have a pristine marble facade, but it’s standing strong, patched with wisdom and fortified with freedom, and that, to me, feels like the truest worship.
You said:
List 5 references to “your body is a temple” from literature
ChatGPT said:
ChatGPT
The phrase “your body is a temple” has been referenced in various literary works, often emphasizing the sanctity and respect one should accord to their own body. Here are five notable examples:
- Flannery O’Connor’s “A Temple of the Holy Ghost” (1953):
- In this short story, two young girls recount a carnival sideshow featuring a hermaphrodite who declares, “I am a temple of the Holy Ghost.” This proclamation underscores the inherent sanctity of the human body, regardless of its form. Wikipedia
- John Donne’s “Devotions upon Emergent Occasions” (1624):
- In Meditation XVII, Donne reflects on the interconnectedness of humanity, stating, “The church is catholic, universal, so are all her actions; all that she does belongs to all.” This meditation implies that each individual’s body is a part of the greater body of the church, highlighting the sacredness of the human form.
- Walt Whitman’s “Leaves of Grass” (1855):
- Whitman’s poetry often celebrates the human body as divine. In “I Sing the Body Electric,” he writes, “If anything is sacred, the human body is sacred.” This line emphasizes the holiness and reverence due to one’s own physical form.
- Aldous Huxley’s “Antic Hay” (1923):
- In this satirical novel, a character muses, “Your body is a temple, but how long can you live in the same house before you redecorate?” This reflection humorously critiques societal attitudes toward physical appearance and self-care.
- Toni Morrison’s “Beloved” (1987):
- Morrison explores themes of bodily autonomy and trauma. A character reflects on the scars inflicted upon her, contemplating the idea of her body as a temple that has been desecrated, yet still holds profound significance and resilience.
These literary works explore the concept of the body as a temple, each offering unique perspectives on the reverence and respect owed to one’s own physical being.
You said:
Where does the reference “body is a temple” come from?
ChatGPT said:
ChatGPT
The reference “your body is a temple” originates from the Bible, specifically from the New Testament. It appears in two key passages written by the Apostle Paul in his letters to the Corinthians, where he uses the metaphor of the body as a temple to emphasize the sanctity and care one should afford to their physical being. These references are foundational to the phrase’s modern usage:
- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV):
- “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
- This passage underscores the idea that the body is a sacred vessel indwelt by the Holy Spirit, encouraging believers to treat their bodies with respect and holiness.
- 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 (NIV):
- “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.”
- Here, Paul extends the metaphor to include the collective community of believers as the temple of God, emphasizing spiritual and physical sanctity.
These Biblical origins have influenced the use of the phrase in both religious and secular contexts, often as a call to self-care, moral conduct, or a lifestyle of health and respect for one’s body.
You said:
What is the opposite of health?
ChatGPT said:
ChatGPT
The opposite of health can be understood in different ways depending on the context, but generally, it refers to states or conditions that impair well-being or the body’s proper functioning. Here are a few interpretations:
- Illness or Disease:
- The most direct opposite of health is illness, sickness, or disease, which denotes a state where the body or mind is not functioning optimally due to infections, chronic conditions, or other medical issues.
- Poor Well-being:
- Beyond physical sickness, the opposite of health could be a lack of well-being, encompassing mental, emotional, or spiritual distress, such as depression, anxiety, or a sense of purposelessness.
- Dysfunction:
- A broader opposite might be dysfunction, where systems (biological, social, or environmental) fail to support proper growth, vitality, or balance.
- Unbalance or Disorder:
- A holistic view might frame the opposite of health as imbalance or disharmony, where there is a lack of equilibrium between physical, emotional, and social factors.
- Neglect or Degradation:
- From a societal or environmental perspective, the opposite of health could be neglect or decay, where there is a failure to nurture, maintain, or respect what sustains vitality.
Each interpretation highlights different facets of what it means to be “healthy” and what happens when those facets are compromised.
You said:
why is alcohol called “spirits”?
ChatGPT said:
ChatGPT
The term “spirits” for alcohol has a fascinating history rooted in both language and cultural practices. Here’s why alcohol is often referred to as “spirits”:
1. Origins in Alchemy:
- The term “spirits” dates back to medieval alchemy, where the process of distillation was seen as extracting the “spirit” or essence of a substance. When alcohol was distilled, it was thought to capture the “spirit” of the liquid.
2. Etymology:
- The word “spirit” comes from the Latin spiritus, meaning “breath” or “soul.” Distilled alcohol, with its vaporous nature and potent effects, was likened to capturing the soul or life force of the fermented material.
3. Association with Mysticism and Medicine:
- Distillation was once considered a mystical process, and the products were believed to have almost magical properties. Early distilled spirits were often used in medicine and thought to have healing or transformative powers, reinforcing the idea of their “spiritual” essence.
4. Connection to Intoxication:
- Some cultures viewed intoxication as a way to commune with the divine or unleash hidden aspects of the self. Alcohol’s ability to alter consciousness was thus associated with the “spirit” of transformation or transcendence.
5. Historical Use of the Term:
- By the 16th century, the term “spirit” was widely used in English to describe the product of distillation, specifically referring to distilled alcohol. It became common to call drinks like whiskey, gin, and rum “spirits.”
The poetic and mystical roots of the term persist, even as our understanding of alcohol’s chemistry and effects has evolved. “Spirits” continues to evoke a sense of something potent, transformative, and perhaps a bit otherworldly.
List top 5 most reliable studies that prove alcohol has no health benefits
ChatGPT said:
ChatGPT
Recent research has increasingly challenged the notion that alcohol consumption offers health benefits. Here are five notable studies that provide evidence against the health advantages of alcohol:
“Daily Alcohol Intake and Risk of All-Cause Mortality” (2023):
Summary: This comprehensive meta-analysis reviewed 107 studies involving over 4.8 million participants. It found no significant reduction in mortality risk for low-volume alcohol consumers compared to lifetime non-drinkers. The study highlighted biases in previous research that suggested health benefits from moderate drinking. JAMA Network
“Association of Alcohol Consumption With Selected Cardiovascular Disease Outcomes: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis” (2011):
Summary: This analysis examined the relationship between alcohol intake and various cardiovascular outcomes. It concluded that while some studies suggested a protective effect, the evidence was inconsistent and often confounded by other lifestyle factors. BMJ
“Alcohol Consumption and Mortality From Coronary Heart Disease: An Updated Meta-Analysis of Cohort Studies” (2017):
Summary: This study updated previous analyses and found that the apparent protective effects of moderate alcohol consumption on coronary heart disease were likely due to methodological biases, such as the inclusion of former drinkers in non-drinking groups.
“Alcohol and Health Outcomes: An Umbrella Review of Meta-Analyses Based on Prospective Cohort Studies” (2022):
Summary: This umbrella review assessed multiple meta-analyses and found that the purported health benefits of alcohol consumption were often overstated and that alcohol intake was associated with increased risks for several health conditions. Frontiers
“No Level of Alcohol Consumption Improves Health” (2018):
Summary: Published in The Lancet, this global study concluded that there is no safe level of alcohol consumption, as any potential protective effects are outweighed by the increased risk of various health issues, including cancer and cardiovascular diseases.
These studies collectively suggest that alcohol consumption does not confer health benefits and may, in fact, pose various health risks.
ChatGPT can make mistakes. Check important info.
[Personal disclaimer: Caveat emptor + trust but verify]
May 2023 deliver all your dreams and desires. Remember, this is more likely to happen if:
1. You write down your goals
2. You break theses goals into smaller parts
3. You measure your progress
Life is simply how you are spending your time. Spend your time wisely (or foolishly! ;-)) but spend it MINDFULLY!
Much LOVE and HEALTH to everyone as YOU start writing the next chapter in your book of life. 
Here are some blog posts I have written over the years relating to significant changes I have made in my own life (losing weight; quitting alcohol (PART 1, PART 2, 7 REASONS TO QUIT, ANXIETY); dealing with childhood crap). I hope this inspires YOU! If you ever have questions or want support, holler!
Back in 2017, I broke three long-term bad habits. Ones that I had for decades and decades. At the time, I did not set out to make these changes permanent, in fact, I probably thought I was going to fail. Now, at the start of 2023, I look at my original post on Facebook, and I’m so grateful I chose to sustain the choices I made then. (Read about my transformation.)
I am:
Grateful I have kept these unfulfilling habits and addictions from my life.
Grateful I developed new habits that serve the “ME I WANT TO BE”.
Grateful I choose to do my daily routines of journaling and mindfulness practices like yoga and meditation in order to sustain my choices.
Remember, all habits are–good or bad–is how you are spending you time. Which means, if you want to implement changes that are going to stick, you need to honestly analyze how you are spending your time.
As we head into another New Year, I want to inspire you to trust yourself enough to take the steps to change those things that are not serving you, not serving your short and long-term goals, those that are not helping YOU be the greatest YOU you can be!
It starts with knowing what your bad habits are, and knowing you can change whatever you want, because it is within YOUR CONTROL.
Habit #1: I had this one for 45 years.
Habit #2: 15 years.
Habit #3: 30 years.
Habit #1: Nail biting
As long as I could remember, I’d bitten my nails. My mother used to, but stopped in her late twenties. My sister, Lizette, did as well. Remember: kids mimic the habits of their parents, good and bad (ask me where my drinking habits developed). Back in 2017, I wrote: “I still don’t like the sensation of long nails, and will continue to keep mine short(ish), but this will be because I manicure them that way, not because I am mindlessly gnawing on my fingers like a crazy cannibal.”
This is still true today, but I have learned a couple of new things:
1. I love getting mani/pedis now, and often “reward” myself with this–which is a Big Deal because it took me almost fifty years to learn to reward myself with things that are actually good for me or at least not actively bad for me (like alcohol). This one might seem obvious, but genuinely… when you analyze your personal rewards system, it is very telling. Pay attention when you think or say the words “I need” or “I deserve” X. Is that X objectively healthy or unhealthy for you?
2. I often inspect my nails and feel a jolt of joy every time–the reverse of the subconscious shame I felt my whole life when I looked at my hands. My brain is now rewired to appreciate the positive change I made. It’s obviously super helpful that this reminder is physically attached to me and unavoidable, but I recommend finding a talisman like this for yourself. One that gives you joy for something you chose to do that makes your life better. For example, I like to wear rings now, which I never did before because I was ashamed of the way my hands looked. Now I rock my great-grandma’s rocks!
Habit #2: Nicotine gum
I was addicted to nicotine gum for fifteen years. Holy jaw-smack! I first starting smoking when I was 16. Both my parents smoked too (ahem) and quit in their forties. I quit for the first time when I was 21, and didn’t smoke again until I was 30. After that, it was mostly social, on again, off again–only at events, never habitually at home, but sometimes, on Big Binge-y weekends. I finally quit cigs on Thanksgiving Day 2016. But I continued to ignore my non-stop, chow-down relationship with nicotine gum, which finally ended in 2017.
But, since I’m not perfect and neither are you, full disclosure: I am still addicted to chewing gum, but at least it is sugar- and aspartame-free! Chewing gum doesn’t seem like the worst addiction to have but the compulsion of it bothers me. I definitely behave like an addict: I’m aware of where my gum is at all times, I worry when the Amazon delivery is late, I notice when the flavor is slightly “off,” etc. Not to go full Freud 101 on my ass, but seems, between the nail-biting and gum-chewing, I might have some sort of “oral fixation” I need to figure out (yes, it is true, Mommy did not breast-feed me; am I cured now? lol). That said, I suspect if the constant jaw-moving stops, some body-rocking might start… I don’t know… I just feel more “normal” when something is constantly moving…
Habit #3: Daily drinking
In 2017, I said: “You have never seen me show up without a box of vino under my arm. My Facebook feed is filled with people making ‘wine ‘o clock’ and drunk jokes at my expense. This surprised me at first, because it certainly wasn’t the way I perceived myself, but it was very telling that others did. I started to examine the role alcohol was playing in my life, read books highlighting how alcohol (ethanol) is a neurotoxin and depressant. I want to live a long and healthy life (forever, bitches!) and I have a ton of important things I want to accomplish. My habit was hindering me and my goals, so know what? I kicked it to the curb! I don’t feel comfortable (yet?) making definite statements like ‘I’ll never drink again,’ but for now, booze and I are taking a much deserved break…”
I drank my last drink on Boxing Day 2017 and now, at the start of 2023, I am willing to say: I will never drink alcohol again.
Alcohol is a neurotoxin that rots your brain. Alcohol is a depressant that causes anxiety. If you are suffering from either of these symptoms, and you are self-medicating with booze… you are literally using the substance that IS CAUSING THE PROBLEM. FFS, stop! You can read more about my journey to alcohol-free living HERE, HERE, and here are 7 REASONS TO QUIT if you need a primer to get started in the New Year. YOU CAN DO IT!
Nervous habits are the result of underlying root causes…
What do all these habits have in common? Other than my parents, who I am not dissing; they did the most important parts of parenting right: Loving us unconditionally, teaching us to think critically, and encouraging us to be the best people we can.
All these compulsions are arguably “nervous habits.” Am I a naturally nervous person? Maaaaybe. I know I am shyer and more introverted than people think, but maybe that is the case for all of us? That saying “Fake It Till You Make It” has been a personal mantra for a long time, but I’ve grown tired of that outlook.
As I discovered back in 2017, I didn’t want to “fake it” anymore, for one, YOU CAN’T FAKE SKILLS. Also, I wanted to know who I am, discover what I love about myself, and what works, but equally, what I didn’t like, and figure out how to change.
I am still learning, but here is the one thing I do know now that people told me for years and years that I never believed and never did (especially us “people pleasers”) but I now live by: It’s okay, indeed, it is healthy to put yourself first. Do it, and soar!
Hemingway famously said: “I drink to make other people interesting.” (He also said: “Write drunk; edit sober,” which perhaps does not bode well for this essay since I am writing and editing sober.)
To be candid: When I gave up alcohol, one of my fears was I’d discover people bore me. I often half-jokingly say, “I’m either a low-functioning genius or a high-functioning idiot,” but the truth is, I am a witty, highly intelligent woman with many interests and a low tolerance for inanity. A part of me did think, I drink to make other people interesting.
What would the world feel like without the fog of wine clouding my every moment?
The Test
For a while, as I was trying on my new “Sober Me” skin, I avoided my regular socializing scene. Then I decided to test my sobriety at Artsy Fartsy, a Free Stater event I’ve regularly attended since its inception, only missing a few performances over the eight or nine years it has been running. We do stand-up, recite poetry, read stories, play music, sing, dance, and laugh. It’s a lot of so-so “art,” no real farts, and a fun night out.
In the past, I’d be at least a bottle of wine, and then some, into my night by the time I showed up. Dutch courage, what, what! That night, I’d planned ahead: I smoked a pre-game bowl; I had several bottles of bubbly Pellegrino stuffed in my handbag; I had a texting buddy on the ready; and, if it got too much, I would simply cut and run.
I won’t pad it: I didn’t have fun that night.
Everyone seemed loud and obnoxious. Drunk and inconsiderate. The couple sitting behind me were whisper-fighting throughout the entire performance–FFS, EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU! I wanted to cut a bitch.
During intermission, I sought out a friend who doesn’t usually drink. Even he was sipping a cocktail; traitor!
“Drunk people are so annoying,” I whined. He gave me a knowing look and said, “Tell me about it.” So I did.
As I spoke, I realized I was going to have to cut my friends some slack while I figured out what my social life would look like sober. Regardless of the frustration I was feeling, I knew I should be proud of myself for having read my essay without the shield of Three-Sheets-ness, the first time I had done a reading at Artsy Fartsy sober–the first time, in fact, I had done anything with a microphone in my hand without having alcohol in my system. I would just have to learn how to find new, different joys in these experiences, or edit those things out of my life that didn’t serve the new and improved Sober Me.
But I chose that night, that event, with those people, as a test, and I passed. Not with flying colors (more grumpy colors!) but I had chosen to be there, in that milieu, amongst my friends and fellow artists, without the crutch of alcohol, and, that night, I discovered I could still be an artist without a drink in my hand. Take that, Hemingway!
[Aside: WHY do we revere the artists with the worst substance abuse records? Hemingway hit women and committed suicide. Nothing but pithy insights in declarative sentences to emulate there. When I look at my artistic heroes now, I know I want to be like the ones who lived long and prospered, not like the ones who suffered endlessly and fucked up their lives. Guess I am… maturing?]My not drinking is not about your drinking, at all, unless you want it to be and then I am here for you
This one is a hard: When you stop drinking, no matter what, the people you used to drink with will feel judged, abandoned, or both. Somehow, we conflate other people’s decisions about their lives with having waaaaaay more to do with our own than they actually do. One of the most profound things I have learned in sobriety is this:
Let me state it clearly: My decision to stop drinking has nothing to do with you…
Unless you want it to…
Face it, the reason people feel judged is because, often, if there’s problem drinking for one person in a group, it might be the case for others in the same social circle. But, please, please, please, do not conflate MY decisions about MY life and MY alcohol abuse with you or your relationship with booze. I’m the master of my destiny. I decide for me. You have to decide for yourself. I can share my knowledge and experience with you, but you and your drinking? That’s between you and your conscience.
My decision to quit alcohol was a mindful, conscious choice that no one else could make for me. Not Louis, not my teetotaling friends, not you. Similarly, I can’t decide for you, and I don’t want to: I have my hands full achieving my own life goals–today, thankfully, without a poisonous neurotoxin mucking my vision.
But, if you are like the scores of people waking up to the downsides of alcohol, if you are becoming “sober-curious,” I hope you will give alcohol-free living a chance.
Think about it this way: What do you like about hanging out and drinking? At the start of an evening, before everyone is sauced up, everyone is chatting, laughing, catching up; present in the moment. You are enjoying the company you keep. You are there in the now.
Good.
It is later, after more and more alcohol is consumed, when your speech slurs and you keep losing your train of thought that things start to go downhill, the nonsensical spats, the stories on repeat, that time of night when you don’t even notice you’ve told this same story before, tonight, to the same people.
Not good.
Being sober allows you to see that, for the most part, nights only get boring or repetitive because of the impact alcohol has on your cognitive functions: your shortened attention span, your pitiable forgetfulness. It’s not the people, it’s the booze IN the people!
Chose to BPHAB!
For decades, I shut down bars: New York, San Francisco, Hong Kong, Johannesburg, Hanoi. I know the lyrics to every “Last Call” song. Now, instead of sticking through to the bitter end–certainly, in retrospect, called that for a reason–I am able to sweep in, attend events, be fabulous, and leave.
This is empowering.
I look and feel great, am the life of the party for a short while, am able to actually converse with people, remember their names, their stories, and genuinely connect with them in the present, and then… I leave with my head held high. Walt Disney said, “Always leave them wanting more,” and now I can, and do. Instead of being the one stumbling home after a night of ranting and raving (often on repeat), I now leave with my dignity intact.
Dignity.
“A quality or state of being worthy.”
When we drink too much, we rob ourselves of our self-worth, thus robbing ourselves of our dignity. Whether it is the cycle of guilt because you are drinking more than you told yourself you would (breaking your own promises and thus destroying your integrity with yourself), or the regret you feel the morning after (assuming you can remember what to regret), or the unexplained bruises from smashing into things, or the puke stains you have to clean.
Face it: Drinking in excess is not dignified, and surely we want to feel worthy in our own lives? Now, after five years without alcohol, I live in dignity, and I love it!
Another consideration, and this was a particularly hard one for me to admit to myself, is how boring I had become. Not just telling those same stories over and over, but, because of my drinking, how little I was actually doing. Instead of attending that new gallery opening, or exploring a new hobby, or going to that baby shower, I would sit at home and drink.
If you open a bottle of wine for lunch, and continue to drink it throughout the afternoon, you should not be driving, and for the most part, I didn’t, but I would use it as an excuse to just “nest” at home, just me and my vino. Pop another cork! Drink till midnight! Stick a fork in her, she’s done!
I was lucky: I didn’t have a shocking wake-up call like some of my friends and get arrested for a DUI. In fact, one of the crazier stories I told myself and anyone who would question my ability to get behind the wheel after a few drinks, was that I’d learned to drive in South Africa in the Eighties, and drinking and driving at that time was not nearly as frowned upon as it is in America today, so, I would joke, if I was ever caught driving over the limit in the States, I would make the argument to a jury of my peers that since I learned to drive while impaired, the science says I would likely be a better “impaired driver” than the average sober driver. The bullshit we tell ourselves!
No one drives better drunk
Today, I no longer bullshit myself… I no longer have to bullshit myself. I don’t tell myself absurd stories or twist the truth or fabricate justifications or wake up with immediate dread, wondering what I did the night before, who I insulted, or texted, or… possibly, who I bored to death.
Now, I wake up invigorated, ready to stare down the day, knowing I have made the best choice for me for a happy and fulfilling life, one that is there for the taking, one that has so much to offer, one that I look forward to every day.
Hemingway, turns out, can go pound sand, I’m ready for guidance from a new kind of person. Lady Astor, the first female member of the British parliament, said this, and I concur: “One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.”
I’m having a good time. I’d love it if you joined me!
If you’re ready to quit drinking alcohol, a neurotoxin that causes anxiety and depression, I’ve got you! I quit five years ago, and have never looked back. (See Sober Me PART 1, PART 2, How to Change, Are You Anxious?)
Here are 7 reasons to get you started on your personal journey to better health. Quitting is in YOUR control.
- Save money!
- Sleep better!
- Improved health and better focus!
- Look better!
- Better relationships with loved ones!
- No hangovers ever again!
- Respect yourself!
1. Save money!
Alcohol is expensive. Here in the Free State of New Hampshire, booze is sold at state-owned liquor stores. By choosing not to drink, I have defunded the state by thousands and thousands of dollars. We don’t want to admit how much money we spend on our drinking, but you will immediately notice the extra bennies when you quit. I even started a “fun fund” to reward myself with an occasional excursion–as simple as an afternoon a few towns over for a delicious meal–as a reminder of how far I have come.
Need an embarrassing story to drive the point home? Years ago, I found myself in my old NYC neighborhood on the way to a house party. I’d already quit drinking, but stopped in at my old regular liquor store to grab a bottle of wine for the host (I have since changed my opinion on this and no longer gift products I think are unhealthy… I now give something I would like to receive, candles or flowers, say). The store owner behind the counter lit up when we walked in, and yelled, “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. YOU BACK?” Her response was so over-the-top that afterwards, my husband and I calculated how much money we’d been spending there on a monthly basis, and then understood why the shopkeep so desperately wanted us back. She’d lost more than $10,000 a year when we moved. $10K on booze? You can pay off debt with that kind of money. You can go on a decent vacation or start a college fund with that kind of money. Make home improvements, or finally get that sauna for greater health. How about a nest egg for a midlife career change? The sky is the limit! Start planning what you will use your newfangled extra cash on because….
Once you realize how much money you are wasting on something that does not enhance your life, and actively detracts from your health, the choice is obvious. Quit!
2. Sleep better!
Look, sleep deprivation is the Number 1 Torture Technique. Let me repeat that: Lack of sleep is literal torture.
So ask yourself… WHY are you choosing not to sleep well? The way we live–24/7 screens, binge watching TV, junk food, everything on demand, our alcohol and sugar abuse, etc.–has created an incredibly unhealthy environment for optimal sleep, and REM sleep is vital for good health.
Lack of sleep causes the release of Cortisol, the stress hormone, and, I recently learned, dopamine and serotonin deregulation–the hormones that are supposed to keep you happy–can only occur when you are releasing too much Cortisol. In other words: stress deregulates your happy hormones, and the No. 1 cause of stress is… lack of optimal sleep!
The Bad-Sleep-Torture Cycle looks something like this: You’re sleeping badly, so you drink “to relax,” that leads to not sleeping well, which starts to make you stressed and anxious… So, you drink more, and you sleep less… And your stress and anxiety increases… So you… Drink more…
Have you ever stopped to consider whether you are “medicating” with the very thing that is… causing the issue?
This realization was a massive wake up call for me: Alcohol is a poisonous neurotoxin and depressant. You cannot self-medicate yourself into a better place using alcohol. Period.
For most of my adult life, I told anyone who would listen that I drank, in part, because, “It’s the only way I can fall asleep.” Now technically, blacking out after 2 bottles of wine is *A* way to “go to sleep,” but at what cost? The quality of your sleep is junk when you’re drunk, and lack of quality sleep has a cumulative negative impact on your health, causing heart attacks, strokes, brain fog, lowered sex drive, high blood pressure, weight gain, and it ages you.
No thanks! Instead, I have now implemented a bedtime ritual–think of it as the opposite of my former PON (Passing Out Nightly) Routine–I make soothing Lemon Balm Tea which I drink in bed while journaling long-hand about my day (not using a device is important step for me as I pursue digital minimalism); this time for self-reflection is vital to keeping me on track. I highly recommend you start your own bedtime ritual that includes quiet time to write down your thoughts in your own handwriting where you honestly assess what you did/did not accomplish that day in order to achieve your longterm goals.
You will soon discover you can make more of your dreams a reality without alcohol. Quit!
3. Improved health and better focus!
Want Dementia or Alzheimers when you’re older? Me neither!
We’re told that as we age, we need to expect less from our health and brain function… but does it have to be this way? What if the cumulative degradation of our mind and memory is the result of lifestyle choices, and what if, with better choices, better inputs… you will have better outcomes?
Well, duh.
Now add the idea that you’re voluntarily ingesting a neurotoxin and poison that is known to destroy your organs, literally a poison that eats your liver, heart, and brain, and then… well, Double Duh.
While the science is still playing catch up on what is causing the mental decline as we age, to me it is undeniable that alcohol must play a part. I want to be as sharp as possible as I get on in years, and so I’m going to do my damnedest to protect my mind, body, and soul. One easy step is to eliminate alcohol. Quit!
4. Look and feel better!
We are all a little vain. And that’s OK. And while we aren’t all equally attractive or talented or intelligent or whatever, we CAN control the choices we make that influence our quality of life.
Quitting alcohol is one of the best ways to improve your looks and feel more alive! It’s empty calories, so you will likely lose weight when you stop. (I switched to Keto when I quit and lost and kept off more than fifty pounds.) You will also have the benefit of sleeping better, which improves lackluster skin, fine lines, and dark circles.
No one looks at an alcoholic and thinks, That person looks in tip-top shape, more of THAT, please! You instinctively know there are underlying health issues. Now that I’ve been alcohol-free for 5 years, even as I’ve entered my Fifties, when I look in the mirror, I feel like the person looking back at me, is ME. This comes from a deep sense of integrity I have developed with myself, that I have consciously CHOSEN TO DEVELOP through actions like meditation, yoga, journaling, calls with friends and family, and mindful living.
Now that I quit drinking, friends tell me I am “reverse aging.” If you want clear eyes, beautiful skin, and that undeniable glow of health… It’s yours for the taking. Quit!
5. Better relationships with loved ones!
When you feel better, mentally and physically, you are able to show up better in your life and in the lives of others. If your drinking is negatively impacting the people you care about, then quitting allows you to restore those relationships. Don’t take this step for granted: make the conscious effort to include them in your new life. Imagine how happy your decision to live an alcohol-free life will make them!
One caveat: YOU are quitting for YOU. Not for anyone else. Not a spouse or partner. Not a close friend. Not a family member. YOU are monitoring your own choices because that is what YOU CHOOSE to do… for YOU.
One amazing gift for me by choosing to quit is spending more quality time with my husband. More frequent hikes in the beautiful Free State, more gardening, more art and music shows, more plans about the future, from new travel destinations to home improvements, and even… better sex! Quit!
6. No hangovers ever again!
My memories of drinking as a senior in high school involve the most deathly hangovers ever. Like, every Sunday, I would have to hole up in my room with the curtains drawn. To explain the retching, I would tell my parents I must have eaten something bad. Food poisoning every weekend? I mean, Dear ‘Rents, come on!
My sporty and healthy sixteen-year-old body was desperately pleading with me to stop the poisoning. Instead, I diligently trained my body to accept the headaches, puking, upset stomachs, lethargy, sweating, general brain-fuzziness, and non-stop thirst as “normal.” Since “Perseverance” is my middle name–not really, I don’t have one, but it could be–as long as I avoided hard liquor (we know how that went), the hangovers became “manageable” over time, meaning I could always, always function the next day through my own sheer will.
Waking up every day dehydrated with a pounding headache is no way to live. If this is your reality… Quit!
7. Respect yourself!
Do you often tell yourself, Tonight, I’ll only FILL IN THE BLANK, and then you end up doing something different? Tonight, I’ll only have a couple of beers. OK, by “a couple,” I meant, you know, six. This type of behavior is a recipe for disaster because the more you break your promises to yourself, the more you lose respect for yourself, then the more you seek solace in things that are causing the problems to start with!
When your thoughts and actions are not aligned, you are on a path to drive yourself bonkers. For real.
Think about it: You know what cognitive dissonance is, right? From Psychology Today, it is the “state of discomfort you feel when two or more modes of thought contradict each other. The clashing cognitions may include ideas, beliefs, or the knowledge that one has behaved in a certain way.” I think of cognitive dissonance even more broadly, to include your actions that do not align with your thoughts… Meaning you are telling yourself one thing (e.g. I want to drink less tonight) but doing another (I had a second bottle of wine with dinner).
This “cognitive dissonance” causes a constant spiral of disappointment… And who wants to live like that?
The good news: Once you identify this cycle of behavior, you are already on the path to recovery. You can stop the “Drive Yourself Bonkers”-ness by implementing one simple thing into your life… A promise, to yourself, written down in your own handwriting, and kept somewhere, to quit alcohol.
All you have to do is keep that one promise to yourself!
When you choose to live an alcohol-free life by keeping your promise to yourself, you gain self-respect.
I did this really hard thing, for me, and no one else. I frigging ROCK!
I feel alive and happy every morning when I wake up. I am so grateful for the choice I made to live alcohol-free!
I will never have a hangover again. Hallelujah!
I love meeting my eyes in the mirror. You go, grrl!
I am proud of myself for simply keeping one promise to myself. I did it!
When your thoughts and your actions are aligned, your life is aligned. When your life is aligned, you can thrive. Quit!
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