wellbeing

“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?” ~ Marcus Aurelius

AKA:

People in glass houses should not cast the first stone.

Take the log out of your own eye first.

This is a tough one because it requires you to be aware of your own shortcomings, but also, it’s tough because we often most resent in others that which we recognize as failings in ourselves.

Here’s a hack I’ve learned: When I feel a twinge of envy, I stop and try to identify WHY. Is this something I would like more of in my own life? If yes, what concrete steps can I take to put me on the path to getting it?

If I feel the need to be critical or tear someone down–this is not an instinct I naturally have, having actively tried to reduce these urges in myself because I understand you don’t have to step on others to get where you want to go (unless you want to be part of the club of assholes who step on others)–again, I like to pause and analyze WHY.

There is usually a reason that has very little to do with your nemesis and a lot more to do with YOU.

USE this desire, this emotion, this feeling, not to REACT, but rather to focus your FUTURE PURSUITS.

Yesterday, an old post popped up with my original 23&Me results in which I talked about my likelihood of being flat-footed, preferring chocolate over vanilla, salty foods over sweets, and how my Neanderthal DNA comes with a “natural OLYMPIAN PHYSIQUE”… LOL, which brings me to this…

Today’s Stoic quote by Epictetus…

Life, in a nutshell:

“So you wish to conquer in the Olympic Games, my friend? And I, too… But first mark the conditions and the consequences. You will have to put yourself under discipline; to eat by rule, to avoid cakes and sweetmeats; to take exercise at the appointed hour whether you like it or not, in cold and heat; to abstain from cold drinks and wine at your will. Then, in the conflict itself you are likely enough to dislocate your wrist or twist your ankle, to swallow a great deal of dust, to be severely thrashed, and after all of these things, to be defeated.”

In other words: “Trying is half the battle!”

Why is this? Because every time you try, you are developing skills, and skills over time equal habits, and good habits maintained over time equal success.

As we head into the New Year, consider what your Mount Olympus will be in 2024.

What is something you would like to conquer and are willing to put in the work to bring to fruition?

Write it down! Then break it into realistic chunks with measurable deadlines.

Me? My next book. Not with the sales quartered-arsed like THE ECSTATIC PESSIMIST, but a bestseller, and maybe even a movie deal. Yes, Jennifer Lawrence is going to play a fictional me one day!

What? Do you not have absurd fantasies or strange streeeeeeeeeetch goals?

Then let’s get to work!

In the past month, have you felt envy about something someone else is doing? Identify this feeling and consider WHY.

Oftentimes, this twinge of envy is a subtle tell about something you want in your own life.

Decide if this is true, and then use this feeling as a signpost of your own desires and go get it!

Remember, though, that even if you are fueling yourself by comparison and identifying an area you want to compete in, you are ultimately battling yourself, girded in your own arena (your life) and according to your own rules (your goals)…

Like a goddamn Olympian!

Every day, you should be striving to improve your Yesterday Self today for tomorrow… But, perhaps, with less dust and defeat, and more MUST and REPEAT!